Better Rugby Rules

Source:  All Blacks want Sonny Bill asap

Wayne Smith should be gone, sent off to coach expats in Alaska.

Sonny Bill doesn’t have the strength of character or skill at the highest level to make a starting All Black role. If he had he would be talking to Brad Thorn and asking what it takes to follow down his road.

Sonny is dollars first, take the shirt off second, and be a poser third. He is three years at least behind Conrad Smith and Richard Kahui as a skilled center in the back line. And light years behind any half decent international forward.

More dumb thinking can be found here by Greg Ford promoting that Joe Rokocoko should to return to the All Blacks. Joe had a good game against, hmmm, the struggle to win a game ‘the force’.

What are we to do …

Source: Day rugby tests remain in black hole

This blog is against playing night rugby in JUNE and JULY,  especially so in the South Island.

Why the conditions are 80% guaranteed to ruin the game.

I am not advocating changing games times from 7.30pm to 2.30pm, but I am advocating 5.30pm starts, or even 6.00pm starts.

What’s good about a 5.30pm start for test match rugby in June/July

1) The game ends around 7.00pm, plenty of time for social and after dinner needs (bars restaurants etc). Better time for families and fans.

2) The night temperature has yet to drop to it’s coldest levels. Thus less risk of dew and mist affecting conditions.

3) Europe and UK can get out of bed at 5.30am or so to watch the game, this not unreasonable. After all 75% of the work force in Europe/UK do this every day to catch the train to work.

Now hows the above detrimental to revenue ? Zero in my book.

CEO Mr Tew should wake up and make a common sense decision to fix this, however if he can make $1 more starting at 7.30pm, that’s where he will make his decision. Do I need to remind the rugby public about the $2,000,000 spent on a high performance department that achieved little and was canned. 

Cut the costs to meet the budget.

Mr Tew cost cutting ideas:
Idea1: Lower your salary from $550k (approx) to $250k..
Idea2: Reduce the support staff and coaches of the All Blacks.
Idea3: Reduce 30% of the staff at the NZRU.

Every year of the Super 12 and 14 that I can remember there have been law changes (this includes the application of the laws by the refs), actually I cant remember a year were there has been no tweaking.

That is a VERY sad for Super rugby. It reflects poorly on those running the game. Its also reflects that MONEY influence in the game.

So what do we have now. GRASS  BASKETBALL. So far games are averaging 40 points per game, this is rugby basketball and a bore. Just look at this weekend scores (2010-03-28).

David Moffett has some seriously good points.

Extracts..

There have been some positives this year following yet another change to the law interpretation at the breakdown. However, the change has brought some unwanted consequences as a result. The latest law correction has seen the pendulum swing massively in favour of the attacking side, with the result that we have seen games resembling basketball on grass rather than rugby.

A modern day refrain is that there is no longer any room on the field to mount sustainable attacks. That should not come as much of a surprise as the backs are stacked with forwards for most of the game. Indeed most coaches are now opting for huge backs, which makes the situation even worse.I am sure it will not be long before an international coach picks 20 forwards and two halfbacks in their squads such is their lack of ability to conjure up genuine attacking options.

Source: Coaches to blame for rugby-law tinkering

Well just thinking here.

What are the common themes a RWC winning team have in the 80 minutes of the RWC final…that matter.

In order of importance.

1) They self steer: What does this mean! This means the players on the ground know what to do to manipulate the game on the field to score or get out of trouble. They do NOT have puppet strings via radio and other walk on instructions to tell them what to do. The on field leadership move the team to the type of play and tactics required. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR.

2) Leadership: Sure the RWC winning captain gets all the pictures and holds the cup up, but thats not the leadership of a team, is the captain, forward leader, halfback, backs leader: basically senior players leading the way. You cant do (1) without (2).

3) On the field: Well you cant do (1) if (2) are injured or replaced.

Where do I see these traits 12 months out of RWC 2011.

France:  As a kiwi these guys are the best chance to role the ABs and/or win RWC. Why ! Well the have nothing to lose when they play the ABs and they are heros when they win. Also they nearly won a series downunder in 2009, won six nations 2010. The ABs have a 50/50 win loss ratio with France, and its worse as we know with RWC games. Dont mention RWC 2007 !

South Africa: Well they beat us, the ABs,  3-0 in 2009. Won the last RWC and will have Victor Matfield and RWC 2011. What more do you need to know.

What about the ABs.

Well sorry, I still see Richie McCaw as a puppet leader, yes he can lead on the field, yet when it comes to tight test matches the coach in the stand via radio and run on field instructions interrupts they much needed leadership on the field. Of course I hope Richie grows some seriously mean Zinzan balls, and says ‘F**k Off where doing it thus way !” to the next radio instruction from up on high. We shall see…

Source: Super 14 budget shock

I am an devoted rugby fan, I watch it any where and any time. Last year not so much, this year a little more as the rules are better, well the ruling of them. The ELV’s pissed me off last year, and prior.

But no matter how much I like the game, rugby in February is just obscene.

Tri Nations with its massive repetition is boring, the extra Bledisloe cup game is a bore as well.

Players wages should be based on market conditions. 50% base salary, 50% revenue Super rugby performance based. Just like any investment bank (god bless them !).

If you love chocolate and you eat it every day, you will lose your desire for it. A balance must be found between the demand and supply in rugby, just like chocolate.  Just look at the massive supply of cricket, I mean they had to invest in 20/20 to get people to watch it again. I never know what type of game is on these days???

I get the feeling All Blacks will be doing more NZRU revenue matches, don’t you.

Source: Super 14 Ladder after week 3 at 28/2/2010

As I write this, these are current for and against results of points in the Super 14. With averages.(3 games played, as at 28/2/2010)

So this is saying we can expect and average of 40 points per game (thats 20 for, and 20 against).

Thats werid ! And near basketball scores.

I would like to state that it’s not the level of score that matter, it’s the quality of the CONTEST ! The drama and tension of the battle.

A great game can be 9-0. Free flowing, tight and tough.

A game that reads 65 – 20 is one of generally of poor defense and unmatched skill between the sides.

Guess more time is need to see how this Super 14 evolves.

Source: At last! Common sense rules!

EXTRACTS..

The zero tolerance initiative requested by Super 14 coaches, adhered to by referees and bought into, slowly but surely, by the players, has been a roaring success.

Not only is it vindication of the southern unions’ ideal that something needed to change, it is also vindication of the northern unions’ opinions that it was not something inherently wrong in the laws of the game, it was merely a better use of the existing laws.

Despite the two factions having been at loggerheads throughout the whole ELVs shenanigans, they were both right.

The chief criticism of the ELVs was the decrease in structure of the game, the limitation of options from free-kicks, the generic way teams went about running the ball. The variety, the tactical variations and nuances of different teams were stripped.

Not this season. Some teams are kicking, others running. Most employ a mixture of the two, with the most effective mixture coming out on top. Teams not quick or clever enough at the breakdown and not willing to rely on their own defence are being punished – as the Blues found out when losing to eight Hurricanes penalties.

This has had a knock-on effect. The number of kicks per game in the Super 14 is twenty less than in the Six Nations: 72-52. Some may cite the tighter tactics required at international level, but who wouldn’t be willing to bet that it has a lot to do with the cleaner quicker ball coming from Super Rugby rucks.

COMMENTS: Give the Super 14 a few more weeks, the players and Refs more time and we just might have great rugby. Crusaders vs Sharks just been was a cracker !

Source: Super 14 cops Northern Hemisphere serve

Well I am not surprised that Stephen Jones agrees with me. He has been too  tough making some judgments in the past.

Extract…

“I’ve often written of the dangers of chasing the concept of entertainment in rugby. It made a complete joke of Super Rugby and it is in grave danger of doing so all over again,” Jones continued.

“It is living proof of the shambles that occurs when senior officials of struggling unions make the gross error to believe that endless sickly movements are the answer to their problems.

“By doing so, they put pressure on coaches and especially on referees. The biggest lie is that the pap rugby of last weekend was caused by a so-called crackdown by southern hemisphere referees on tackling.

“No doubt they were. But there was far more to it than that. Effectively, they abandoned any semblance of a fair contest for possession in any phases of the match and felt under pressure so that the attacking team were allowed to do so no matter what. They also feared that their paymasters would be on their backs if the game did not yield around 15 tries minimum.”

Some of the simple reasons why rugby is sooo good

1) It’s one of the last games on this planet where physical contact is real.
2) The drama, suspense, anticipation can be surreal.
3) A game of chess, tactics, strategy.
4) Big and small men going at it, no matter of eithers weight class.
5) A game that can be described as a battle, a contest.

Dilute these characteristics and WHO CARES. You know I can watch woman’s beach volley ball anytime.

Source: Chiefs, Hurricanes Set Super 14 alight

   Ever seen a boxing match between two tough men, a hard punching powerful contest and then watch a ladies boxing match, light slaps and little more than a contest between two five year olds fighting in the back yard (sorry ladies, thats why you dont get the big bucks in boxing).

Well then you know the difference between high scoring basketball popcorn games in the super rugby this weekend and real rugby.  The Chiefs vs Lions (72-65) game this weeked was a total disgrace. No defense from either side, you might as well watched NBL  basketball in the USA.

However that said, this wont last as teams get to grip with the same rules been used differently and realise that the top teams in Super rugby wont have points score against them.

Just dont believe the BS in the article I posted, the SANZAR cheerleaders are busy at work doing there marketing.

The new super is better so far, but the chicken is not cooked yet, needs more time ! ha

First weekend of Super Rugby… and IT’S LEAGUE !

Ha, is it or is it not !

In league the tackler must release the ball by standing up and tapping it through the legs. There is NO CONTEST, defending players can not contest this process.

I rugby union, the only thing different from the above is that the player need not stand up to release the ball, placing the ball or rolling it back is exactly the same. Also, there is NO CONTEST.

A tackler is out of the game until he stands up, releases the tacklee and re enters the game from an onside position.

So far seams good for the game.

So as the ball retention is less contentious and there is more running. And some of it very aimless. Tactical kicking for territory must not be underestimated, and must be used more. Wait an see on that one, I guess.

AND GUESS WHAT… YOU DIDNT NEED ELVs to improve the game (subject to more time, wait until 4th round, I guess) you only needed correct interpretations of the laws to get a better game, we hope.

The camp for the negative on ELVs have another HUGE win. Yes you can still maul, and they cant be pulled down.

Scrums: Less resets so far. If a prop lets his shoulders fall below his hips then he is in a structurally week position within the scrum bridge. Proving he as failed to join the scrum correctly and in a safe and stable manner. The refs can easily see this fault, and I agree they should penalise a prop for this. Also the removal of anticipating the scrum hit is a good idea.. so engage cant be removed by a ‘false start’.

Source: Dual-referee system on the table for Super rugby

Well having two touch judges (Assistant Refs) and a on field ref still doesn’t seam to keep the players on side at the break down.

How would you work this,,

A forwards ref, with a backs ref..

A ref on the left and side, and another on the right.

There is no doubt a problem in rugby when  a 36 to 45 year old ref cant keep up with game when it’s at full throttle. So I suspect if you have two refs and two touch judges who cant keep up, things wont change.

Ref do tend to whistle with the home crowd, so maybe two refs can balance this up. Or maybe not !

Seam to work in the NRL..So Jonny ONeill wants it, then most likely will get it.

Rugby kicking off soon…who would believe it…

Source: Trans tasman rugby declares bore war

Extracts..

John O’Neill, the ARU chief executive, admitted Australian rugby hit ”rock bottom” during a torpid 2009 campaign in which none of the nation’s four Super 14 franchises reached the tournament’s semifinals.

”Reds, Waratahs, Brumbies, Force … we’ve all sat around the table and looked at the reality of where crowd figures have gone and where the game generally is at. I think we’ve hit the bottom and every one of the four teams is determined to deliver winning and entertaining rugby.

There have been two main areas that fan feedback and our own evaluation process have highlighted, and that’s scrum time and the breakdown. We are hoping to simplify those facets of the game to make conditions more conducive to good footy.

O’Neill was optimistic the reversion to running rugby would lead Australia out of the doldrums at international and domestic level, and continue the mini-revival started on Australia’s autumn tour of the northern hemisphere.

COMMENTS:  Ok , if you are an ABs supporter you know that ‘running rugby’ all the time does not always win you the big trophy’s. (ak the last 4 RWC). Smart tactical rugby does, that knowing when to run, knowing when to maul and knowing when to kick. The Spring Boks get my vote as the smartest rugby team over the last two years, after all they won a second RWC and beat the ABs 3-0 this year in Tri Nations.

Running rugby and winning rugby is not the same thing. Administrators laying down the law as to the style the team plays to coaches is NOT SMART. I refer you to last RWC when Georgia beat Ireland using a tight forward game, not running rugby and WON ! A rugby team must play to its strengths and conditions of the day.

The above noise from John O’Neill just show how desperate his ELV campaign was to take on his local rugby league and AFL. His vision of rugby is not good for world rugby community. That said the slight adjustment to the rules this year just may be a good thing, see previous posts.

Source: Sanzar Looks to speed up the game

…”We’ve agreed the tackler must release everything when he goes to ground and not hold on as he gets to his feet.”

The upshot will be more time for the tackled player to either pop the ball away to a support player or to place it back away from his body.

Players not making a clean release after the tackle and getting fully to their feet before going for the ball will be penalised.

Bray said the change was not just window dressing and was part of a unified approach to improve the game as a spectacle that is expected to be introduced in Europe for the Six Nations or the Heineken Cup.”…

COMMENTS: Well in my day if you are off your feet, and that’s one KNEE ON THE GROUND, you are out of the game, you cant do anything. So all I see is that this is enforcement of a law/rule, this should have been done years ago !

If you are off your feet in rugby your are out of the game, until you regain your footing. !

Source: The NPC format you wont see

THE ORIGINAL TEFLON PLAN

– All 14 teams involved, all teams in one tier, split into two permanent conferences – ala the NFL, NHL, NBA, MLB (pretty established and successful leagues) – of seven. Initial analysis sets up the following potential conference line-ups (there is some leeway for difference of opinion and arguments to slight changes to the conference make-up but let’s roll with this):

Waka Nathan Conference: Otago, Canterbury, Hawke’s Bay, Manawatu, Bay of Plenty, Auckland and Counties

Fred Allen Conference: Southland, Tasman, Wellington, Taranaki, Waikato, Harbour and Northland

– The regular season would consist of 10 regular season games (as the Players’ Association Plan calls for), so here’s how it would unfold:

– Six games against the teams within your conference and four from outside the conference.

One of those outside-conference games would be locked-in every year against a close traditional/geographical rival and the other three would be on rotation. -If you look at the composition of the conferences, the rivalry games are already laid out – Southland-Otago, Canterbury-Tasman, Wellington-Hawke’s Bay, Manawatu-Taranaki, Waikato-BOP, Auckland-Harbour and Counties-Northland (preferably all played in the same weekend – Rivalry Week – which would market itself and hook in the media and casual fans.

-A team would play three outside-conference teams one year, and the remaining three outside-conference teams the following year. So in a two-year cycle, teams would be guaranteed to play every team at least once. Because all teams are on the same tier, all points would count.

– After the regular season, there would be semifinals involving the two conferences winners and the two next best teams on points (this ensures a strong conference in a certain year won’t be disadvantaged by only having two semifinals spots). Ideally there would be six or eight teams involved in the playoffs, tacking on quarterfinals. Twist my arm and a regular season game could be sacrificed to see another two or four teams involved in the postseason.

The beauty of this plan is it keeps everyone involved in the title hunt from start to finish, prevents an ugly bidding war between chief executives keen to save their jobs by finishing in the top-seven, side-steps the horse-trading lunacy that would eventuate from the teams-selecting–their-opponents process. Plus there’s absolutely no reason this competition couldn’t go ahead in 2010.

Sure it’s not perfect. But then, perfection doesn’t exist in this situation.

COMMENTS: This is much better !

Source: NPC to become Two Part Contest

1) Two 7 team levels, upper and lower.
2) Super rugby zones could end up in lower levels.
3) 4 cross over games between upper and lower levels.
4) All games in (3) and (1) carry championship points.
5) Immediate promotion and relegation between levels.
6) Salary cap lowered (based on provincial income).
7) Max player payments levels.
8.) After RWC, finals play off will be introduced.
9) Works with new Super 15.
10) TV revenue sharing.

COMMENTS: What will happen when there is a Super 18 ????? Great news that costs were negotiated down, and that Manawatu can still play Auckland in future years. This NPC format meets the player, fan and economic needs.

Funny how Mr Tew was not required for this NZRU/Collective agreement. He’s a gonna !

NZRU CEO Mr Steve ‘Teflon’  Tew.
The face  of taking one up the rear end.

Thanks for effort, time for NEW BLOOD !

– Survived World Cup disaster 2003
– Re appointed failed RWC 2007 coaches (Henry, Hanson, Smith)
– 3 Failed attempts to restructure the NPC.
– Allowed Dan Cater sabbatical, that resulted in an injury of six months.
– Created ‘rugby for cash’ in Honk Kong, Japan, etc.
– Having ELV statistics forever and still getting it wrong.
– Created a $2 mil p.a higher performance department that did, WHAT !

Sure we have the RWC 2011, that’s nice!  Mr Tew has been a part of the NZRU club for too long, so I believe its time for new blood !

Or maybe the $500,000 salary is way too nice to let go ! Not to mention the rugby donuts from around the world.

UPDATE: Tew has a sense of humor..

..”For now, its more of the same and Tew brought some reality to that when he said: “Can the four who were in danger of going down survive in the long term? That’s up to them. They have said yes, their fans want that opportunity. They have now got it and good luck to them. I will go back to Manawatu and have my ham sandwich again and get caught on camera. Bring on the Bucketheads!”…

So Tew has more life, it seams,…

Source: ‘Fortunate four’ happy to work with Tew

Source: Provincial Rugby Format Unchanged

14 format NPC remains. Yippeeeee !!

COMMENTS: Get the costs down, and that includes that players salaries, after all its about the love of the game and not a new bed room added onto the house !!

Source: NZRU accused of ruining the game – Newstalk ZB

New Zealand Rugby Union management have come under heavy fire from Counties Manukau chairman Matthew Newman.

The NZRU board will today debate whether to confirm a ten-team Air New Zealand Cup competition next year, despite legal challenges being issued by Tasman and Counties Manukau.

Newman says the NZRU top brass have no idea what they are doing to the game.

“If we look at the individuals running New Zealand rugby from a management point of view, they come from that professional piece of the game and what we have seen over this last several months is a complete lack of understanding and disconnection from rugby people”.

Newman says the ten-team situation has been ideologically driven as it is something that would clearly have the support of the “favoured” four or five teams.

Both Manawatu and Northland have undertaken legal advice but have confirmed they will wait until the NZRU board makes a decision before considering their next move.

COMMENTS: NZRU under Tew its profit before the people, and its this balance which is been tested today at the NZRU board. 10 or 14 teams in the NPC (whatever). The 14 team structure was much loved this year.

I suggest the cut the costs of players to make it work.

Source: Annual review the key to bringing back running rugby: Eddie Jones

However, Jones said he would only change one law were he able to order it – the tackle.

”I don’t really think there is much wrong with the game,” he said. ”They [the IRB] probably made a little bit of a mistake by allowing the tackler on his feet to hang on to the ball.

”That has definitely aided defences and the laws at the moment certainly don’t need to aid defence.

”The game needs to be 51 per cent in favour of attack and 49 per cent in favour of defence.

”The tackler being able to hang on to the ball has made sides less adventurous and that is why we have this ping-pong kicking game that bores everyone senseless.

”There is a conservative edge around rugby at the moment where sides are frightened to play a little bit.”

Jones even suggested trialling what has been dubbed as the ‘Justin Marshall law’, named after the All Black veteran of 81 Tests who proposed the law to him in Japan. ”We were having a few beers recently and he came up with the idea that the tackler has no rights to the ball,” Jones said.

”Previously there was a disincentive for the tackler to stay on the tackled player because if he did he got rucked.

”Rucking is out of the game [now], so the tackler gets those momentary seconds to stay on the tackled player. He slows the ball and is allowed to get on his feet and play it again.

”It would be worth experimenting when the tackler had no rights – [where] his only right is to roll away and then he must come back through the gate to contest the ball – and see whether the balance is right.”

COMMENTS: Well, the above is true. Needs to be considered (What Richie out of a job !) I do agree with the IRB in that you cant change the rules every god dam year, that’s just stupid, if you do you end up with ‘fruit salad’ ! I also remember the rule that you could not roll over a ruck unless you were bound to another a player ( I am not sure if that law still around). The one rule in rugby that is abused the most is that if you are off your feet then you are out of the game and you can not touch or do anything. But you cant tell the English forward pack that !

Hmmm more thinking required !

ABs roll out for a win…

The season ended, and all the NZ Monday morning press are in orgasmic mode with the ABs. Sorry I am just very warm.

Why..

The french midfield couldn’t tackle, the BOKs, Aussies, Welsh and English could and the results where very different. We won some and lost some. The French were just very bad on the weekend, my guess they were on ‘happy juice’ after beating the BOKs and thought the ABs would be a ‘not so hard’.

Any injuries to Conrad Smith, Dan Carter or Richie McCaw and this ABs team is very very different.

This season to me will be remembered by 3-0 losses to the BOKs, and a home series loss to the French.

This includes the Tri Nations blunders on selections and tactics by the coaches, I mean not picking Cory Jane after a great French test, the coaches suffered blind loyalty for Joe Rokocoko. The only reason Sivivatu is still there is for the same reason loyalty, and the 1 in 3 good game, Zac Guildford has a workload twice as high as Sivivatu, so he better watch out.

So the errors this year can be found in the top three inches of the coaches head. Hanson and Smith are dead weights, TED should rule alone !

PLEASE STOP THIS: All Blacks: Hansen keen to coach forwards again

Check this out..

The NEW Dallas cowboys in stadia screen is 60 meters long…WOW !

Do you think the NZRU might wana play there, hell yeah !

LINK

Well not much to write about…

Ask your self this : How many times did I see two horizontal lines line up against each other?  

If its more that ZERO, its too much !

Ref: ELVs – ‘The Field Wide Trench Defence’ or ‘FWTD’

How do you get a two lines of rugby players?

SLOW BALL from the break down. This allows the defending team time form up the line, leaving the attacking team little chance to find gaps to attack.

Why is there slow ball? 

Players can infringe all they like to slow the ball down.

Rucking has been removed from the game. Therefore the attacking team players have few tools to police  illegal activity at the ruck, its either the refs whistle or nothing. The infringing team have the odds on the favour to get the benefits of slowing the ball down.

Professional boxing had its physical contact, rugby once had its version, sadly that’s been diluted.

More here :
Rucking, Ref’s should allow ‘collateral damage’
and here  Rucking

 BRING BACK F**KING RUCKING !!

Source: SOS to IRB: our game is dying as a spectacle

After many words, Mick Cleary sees only one solution..

COMMENTS: The PC idiots that diluted the rucking laws for TV,  queasy mums and non rugby sponsors types is the true reason for rugby break down issue.  Maybe the fear of losing TV dollars the IRB might say..Bring back the ruck ! Keep up the good fight Mick !!

More here : Rucking, Ref’s should allow ‘collateral damage’

Source: Rugby need to entertain again – Toby Robson

Hanson extract…

Assistant coach Steve Hansen wasn’t hiding from the issue upon arriving at the All Blacks’ High St hotel.

Rugby was in need of an entertaining and free-flowing test match.

“Kicking has overtaken most of the game,” he said. “They tried to change all the rules [with the ELVs] and then halfway through the process they decided to play differently up here [in the north].

“They only want to play some of them, so we’ve got a kind of hybrid type of game and it’s ended up with everyone kicking.”

Hansen repeated Graham Henry’s call for the mark to be introduced anywhere on the field before indicating the All Blacks would not let up in their quest to play running rugby.

“They’ve always played differently up here and we have to just accept that,” he said. “I think the game of rugby needs a good game of rugby and not necessarily just a battle up front, but some ball movement and some good tries.”

COMMENTS: Well the best way to defeat a kicking game, is to play a ‘catching’ game. The ABs didnt do this against the BOKs and lost 3-0 in this years Tri Nations. Also the positional play of the back three is also important. So if one team kicks the ball, and the receiving team CATCH IT then thats an excellent chance for counter attack.

Once again Henry and Hanson call for RULE CHANGES when in truth it was there own selections and tactics that let them down.  Dont believe this spin.

ABs have idiots coaches in charge…

The ABs shouldnt worry about the entertainment factor, they should focus on the winning factor, once again Henry is getting sidetracked by issues that dont steer the ABs ship to RWC glory.

An Kiwi wanted to become an Aussie so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this. 

“Well” said the doctor, “this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong.  I will have to remove half your brain”. 

“That’s OK” said the Kiwi.  “I’ve always wanted to be an Aussie and I’m prepared to take the risk”.

The operation went ahead but the Kiwi woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor.  “I’m so terribly sorry!!” the doctor said.  “Instead of removing half the brain, I’ve taken the whole brain out”. 

The patient replied, “No problem sir, jolly good show, tally ho!!”

********************************************************

The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own.

“No worries,” Jonah told them, “I’ll join you later and tell you what happened.” After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3.

“What!!!!” said a furious Josh Kronfeld, “How did you let them get three points??!” Jonah replied apologetically, “I was sent off with 20 minutes to go.”

ha ha ha !~~