Better Rugby Rules

Jokes:

This is a story from the magician on the Titanic who performed mainly sleight of hand tricks. He had a regular spot on the ship’s cabaret evening entertainment. He was actually quite a good magician, but his routines were regularly ruined by the onboard resident Titanic parrot who would fly around squawking out and giving away his secrets like:

SQWARK “IT’S UP HIS SLEEVE, IT’S UP HIS SLEEVE!” or

SQWARK “IT’S IN HIS POCKET, IT’S IN HIS POCKET!” or

SQWARK “IT’S IN HIS MOUTH, IT’S IN HIS MOUTH!”

The magician was getting pretty sick of this and threatened to kill the parrot if it ruined his act one more time. That evening right at the climax of his act, just as he was about to disappear in a puff of smoke, the Titianic hit the iceberg and sank.

Amazingly, the magician and the parrot were the only two survivors. The magician was lying on a piece of driftwood in a daze. As he opened his eyes he could see the parrot staring at him out of its beady little eye.

The parrot sat there for hours just staring at him and eventually said, “OK, I give up, what did you do with the boat?”

Ooh some of these are rich…

What’s the difference between Graham Henry and Viagra?
At least Viagra gives you a semi.

Graham Henry gets handed a mobile phone and is told “This is Wayne Barnes’s phone”
Henry asks “How did you know?”
“It has 15 missed calls” comes the reply

Why did Graham Henry go to a ball dressed as a pumpkin?
Because he hoped when the clock struck midnight he would turn into a coach.